Good Sportsmanship is the Only Option
(by Mark Domeier)
I’ve had the privilege the past two years of working with Youth 1st, an organization based in Owatonna focused on providing a great atmosphere at youth activities. Mark Arjes brought me into this non-profit group to help give presentations to youth sports teams which exhibited great sportsmanship at tournaments.
I had umpired in Owatonna for a number of years prior to this. When I first started, I encountered issues nearly every weekend with coaches and parents who couldn’t figure out that we were not participating in the World Championship of all baseball leagues. Normally, I didn’t have problems with the players. Every now and then, I’d find some kid who thought every pitch he threw was a strike or every time he didn’t swing the bat it must be a ball. But those were rare.
When Youth 1st started insinuating some good sportsmanship ideals into these tournaments, many of those issues went away. Over the years, it’s gotten better and better since more and more people are buying in to the idea that sports should be fun. After each game, umpires take the time to decide if teams followed the ideas that are promoted before each contest. Teams should display good conduct, character, and community through their actions and words.
The team includes players, coaches, and fans. That’s a key element; parents are just as much a part of the team community as the kids on the field. Those people who like to sit directly behind the umpire in order to judge whether each pitch was called correctly are not favorites among those of us who wear blue. You can try to ignore the sniping as long as possible, but we’re all human, and it gets under your skin after awhile.
But I don’t see as much of that these days. I don’t know that I’m that much better of an umpire, so the Youth 1st plan is working.
I get to spend time at different sports events as an official, a coach, and a parent. I stay pretty calm as a parent, since I know that’s where many bad situations start. I might mutter some thoughts under my breath or to my wife, but that’s generally it. As a coach, I try to keep my interactions with umpires positive. The only times I might visit with them otherwise is to get an explanation of a call or to suggest that a rule might have been misapplied. And from an umpiring standpoint, I always think that’s fine. You have a right to know why I called something a particular way or how I saw a close play. Just question it respectfully.
When Mark asked me to join the presentation team, I jumped at the chance. I had seen so much progress in good sportsmanship, and if I was able to help with that, all the better. Plus, I got a chance to interact with young people all over southern Minnesota and get ideas from other coaches and teams.
Our theme this summer dealt with what competition really means. Too many times, we look at the opposition as the enemy and demonize them. However, when a group realizes that competition only comes when we have somebody against whom to compete, the idea of good guys and bad guys should go away. Respect is crucial to creating good competition. When we shake hands at the end of a contest, it’s a sign of respect. Thank you for competing against us today.
And understand that you need officials to create a competition as well. We have a shortage of officials in all sports across the nation. Why is that? Part of it has a lot to do with how they’re treated. I always tell young people getting into officiating or umpiring that they will have to develop a thick skin quickly. I too often see coaches go after younger officials since they think they can influence them more.
But if you’re constantly being questioned in your job, it makes you want to find a different job. Work with officials and umpires rather than view them as an opponent. Competition goes well when players and coaches work with the officials for the contest rather than think those people are against them. As an umpire, I hope to have a conflict-free game every time. Will I miss calls? Of course, I’m only human. Do I do it deliberately? No, and I have never met an official who I thought did that.
As we progress through the fall sports season and look ahead to other seasons, please think about this. By the time you read this, I’ll have announced two varsity football games in New Richland, and I have a feeling I’ll hear plenty of criticism of the officials. They clearly missed holding or there’s no way that was pass interference. When you sit up in the booth, you get to hear a lot from the people watching down in the stands!
Please join in the movement to create great environments at youth activities. Recognize that officials aren’t out to wreck your team’s chances. Know that they are human. And if you can’t get to that point, please join up and officiate some games yourself!
Word of the Month: This month’s word is scaramouch, which means a boastful coward, as in, “The scaramouch spent a lot of time hollering from the stands, but when he had a chance to help officiate, he quickly grew quiet.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!
Mark Domeier teaches English at New Richland-Hartland-Ellendale-Geneva and is also known as the voice of the Panthers at sporting events. He can be reached via email at mdomeier@nrheg.k12.mn.us or on Twitter @MrD1973.
(by Mark Domeier)
I’ve had the privilege the past two years of working with Youth 1st, an organization based in Owatonna focused on providing a great atmosphere at youth activities. Mark Arjes brought me into this non-profit group to help give presentations to youth sports teams which exhibited great sportsmanship at tournaments.
I had umpired in Owatonna for a number of years prior to this. When I first started, I encountered issues nearly every weekend with coaches and parents who couldn’t figure out that we were not participating in the World Championship of all baseball leagues. Normally, I didn’t have problems with the players. Every now and then, I’d find some kid who thought every pitch he threw was a strike or every time he didn’t swing the bat it must be a ball. But those were rare.
When Youth 1st started insinuating some good sportsmanship ideals into these tournaments, many of those issues went away. Over the years, it’s gotten better and better since more and more people are buying in to the idea that sports should be fun. After each game, umpires take the time to decide if teams followed the ideas that are promoted before each contest. Teams should display good conduct, character, and community through their actions and words.
The team includes players, coaches, and fans. That’s a key element; parents are just as much a part of the team community as the kids on the field. Those people who like to sit directly behind the umpire in order to judge whether each pitch was called correctly are not favorites among those of us who wear blue. You can try to ignore the sniping as long as possible, but we’re all human, and it gets under your skin after awhile.
But I don’t see as much of that these days. I don’t know that I’m that much better of an umpire, so the Youth 1st plan is working.
I get to spend time at different sports events as an official, a coach, and a parent. I stay pretty calm as a parent, since I know that’s where many bad situations start. I might mutter some thoughts under my breath or to my wife, but that’s generally it. As a coach, I try to keep my interactions with umpires positive. The only times I might visit with them otherwise is to get an explanation of a call or to suggest that a rule might have been misapplied. And from an umpiring standpoint, I always think that’s fine. You have a right to know why I called something a particular way or how I saw a close play. Just question it respectfully.
When Mark asked me to join the presentation team, I jumped at the chance. I had seen so much progress in good sportsmanship, and if I was able to help with that, all the better. Plus, I got a chance to interact with young people all over southern Minnesota and get ideas from other coaches and teams.
Our theme this summer dealt with what competition really means. Too many times, we look at the opposition as the enemy and demonize them. However, when a group realizes that competition only comes when we have somebody against whom to compete, the idea of good guys and bad guys should go away. Respect is crucial to creating good competition. When we shake hands at the end of a contest, it’s a sign of respect. Thank you for competing against us today.
And understand that you need officials to create a competition as well. We have a shortage of officials in all sports across the nation. Why is that? Part of it has a lot to do with how they’re treated. I always tell young people getting into officiating or umpiring that they will have to develop a thick skin quickly. I too often see coaches go after younger officials since they think they can influence them more.
But if you’re constantly being questioned in your job, it makes you want to find a different job. Work with officials and umpires rather than view them as an opponent. Competition goes well when players and coaches work with the officials for the contest rather than think those people are against them. As an umpire, I hope to have a conflict-free game every time. Will I miss calls? Of course, I’m only human. Do I do it deliberately? No, and I have never met an official who I thought did that.
As we progress through the fall sports season and look ahead to other seasons, please think about this. By the time you read this, I’ll have announced two varsity football games in New Richland, and I have a feeling I’ll hear plenty of criticism of the officials. They clearly missed holding or there’s no way that was pass interference. When you sit up in the booth, you get to hear a lot from the people watching down in the stands!
Please join in the movement to create great environments at youth activities. Recognize that officials aren’t out to wreck your team’s chances. Know that they are human. And if you can’t get to that point, please join up and officiate some games yourself!
Word of the Month: This month’s word is scaramouch, which means a boastful coward, as in, “The scaramouch spent a lot of time hollering from the stands, but when he had a chance to help officiate, he quickly grew quiet.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!
Mark Domeier teaches English at New Richland-Hartland-Ellendale-Geneva and is also known as the voice of the Panthers at sporting events. He can be reached via email at mdomeier@nrheg.k12.mn.us or on Twitter @MrD1973.
We put Youth First.
Reclaiming the role that youth sports plays in the development of our kids.
The Adults are First
The headline on the cover of the September 4, 2017 issue of Time Magazine reads: “CRAZY TRAVEL. CRAZY COSTS. CRAZY STRESS. HOW KIDS SPORTS TURNED PRO” The article begins with the subtitle, “How your kid’s rec league turned into a $15 billion industry.”
We have created youth sports systems that are performance driven and hyper-competitive, causing parents to invest enormous amounts of time and money into travel and club programs, private instruction and early sport specialization.
The professionalization of youth sports has taken what was designed to be child’s play and turned it into a grown up,
dog-eat-dog reality.
Chap Clark, a leading youth expert, writes in his book Hurt 2.0; “Every adult has been reared on the notion that youth sports build character. In light of what I have seen – the advancement of the best at the expense of the weak, the preference for the skilled even as the eyes of the awkward plead for a chance, the pressure of the parent who lives vicariously through his or her child’s “play” – little character is being built. I have observed just the opposite in fact. True character is built when one is rewarded for hard work, when one is willing to sacrifice for a friend or teammate, when one experiences the instilled value that proclaims the love of sport and not just the lust for competition. This is perhaps the most obvious arena in which abandonment has made its mark on the adolescent psyche. We still use the rhetoric that youth sports build character, yet what we have taught our children builds nothing other than arrogance, self-centeredness, and a performance ethic that is destructive to healthy, communally connected development.”
Help us put our Youth First.
What role should youth sports play?
According to leaders in youth development, youth sports should provide opportunities for exercise, making friends, gaining competence, building confidence, learning about teamwork, taking risks, developing character and self-discipline.
There is a growing body of research, led by the Aspen Institute, which is now supported and endorsed by all major governing bodies starting with the U.S. Olympic committee. (USA Hockey, USA Baseball, USA Wrestling, USA Basketball, USA Soccer, etc.)
“It’s all about building healthy communities.
If we are going to ensure that all kids have the chance to grow up fit and strong, we must, among other efforts, eliminate the barriers to sports participation. Childhood is the ideal time to prevent obesity, and none of the key strategies holds more promise in reducing obesity rates among children aged 6-12 than participation in after-school physical activity programs, according to a 2014 analysis published in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine. That’s especially true with black and Hispanic youth. We must find new ways to help young people enjoy being active every day—no matter where they live or how much money their families make. It’s critical that all kids have the opportunity to find and play sports they love.”
From the Aspen Institute Sports & Society Program – Project Play Report
Thermostat or Thermometer?
Why focus on Conduct and Sportsmanship?
Youth sports provide us with great learning experiences if we approach them with the proper perspective.
Our perspective is that how you play the game (your attitude, your effort, and your conduct) is more important, than whether you win or lose on the score board. Conduct and Sportsmanship are a choice. These are things that we can control. We can control them in practice, in a game, at home and at school. We can control them as players, coaches and as Mom & Dad in the stands. In fact, coaches and parents, we need to set the example for our kids.
When things are going our way, it is easy to go through the motions. But when things don’t go our way, having the proper perspective and making the right choices requires us to be intentional. Think of it this way; you can be like a thermometer and react to the environment around you OR you can be like a thermostat and choose to set your environment by managing your response.
For example, as a coach, I have learned that how I act when a call doesn’t go our way, directly affects how my players act. If I get upset because of a called strike and get on the umpire, what do you think my hitters are going to focus on? I have a responsibility
to set the temperature and maintain it when things are going good and when things are not going so well.
As a parent, it is a similar conversation. Do we focus on dissecting the game on the ride home, question the coach’s decisions, blaming the umpire? When we choose to focus on those things, what environment are we creating? How do our kids learn how to overcome adversity and get better?
I recently read a book written by Ohio State Football Coach, Urban Meyer – titled: Above the Line.
In summary, it is a great book about creating team culture. He describes Above the Line behavior as being Intentional, On purpose and Skillful. (Sounds like the Thermostat.) Below the Line behavior is described as Impulsive, On autopilot and Resistant. (Sounds like the Thermometer.)
One chapter in the book is titled the “R” factor. The chapter subtitle reads: “It’s not what happens that matters. It’s how you respond.” He has a formula for it: E + R = O.
Event + Response = Outcome.
Meyer says “it teaches us something very important about how life works. We don’t control the events in life, and we don’t directly control the outcomes. But we always have control over how we choose to respond. How we respond means everything.”
He says that the goal is to make their football player’s Response stronger that any Event they might encounter.
Simple examples of events that happen during a baseball/softball game:
Event = you are playing SS and the ball takes a bad hop and you make a fielding error – what is your Response?
Event = you are playing 3rd Base and the SS just made an error next to you – what is your Response to your teammate?
Event = you are at bat, the umpire calls the pitch “strike 2”, you thought it was low and outside, what is your Response?
Event = Mom & Dad, coach subs your son/daughter out of the game, what is your Response?
Those are just simple events that can happen during a game. In life, sometimes tough things happen to us, events that are out of our control and how we respond is really important.
Why focus on positive conduct and good sportsmanship? How you play the game will determine whether you win or lose - in life.
Thank you to the Walser Foundation, Federated Insurance, Pearson, Jostens, Cashwise Foods, Bennerotte & Associates, Jaguar Communications, The Retrofit Companies, the Minnesota Sports Federation, the MN Twins Community Fund, the Minnesota Timberwolves and MSU Mavericks for their support of the Youth 1st Team Awards program.
We put Youth 1st by connecting Conduct, Character and Community to youth activity programs.
Why focus on Conduct and Sportsmanship?
Youth sports provide us with great learning experiences if we approach them with the proper perspective.
Our perspective is that how you play the game (your attitude, your effort, and your conduct) is more important, than whether you win or lose on the score board. Conduct and Sportsmanship are a choice. These are things that we can control. We can control them in practice, in a game, at home and at school. We can control them as players, coaches and as Mom & Dad in the stands. In fact, coaches and parents, we need to set the example for our kids.
When things are going our way, it is easy to go through the motions. But when things don’t go our way, having the proper perspective and making the right choices requires us to be intentional. Think of it this way; you can be like a thermometer and react to the environment around you OR you can be like a thermostat and choose to set your environment by managing your response.
For example, as a coach, I have learned that how I act when a call doesn’t go our way, directly affects how my players act. If I get upset because of a called strike and get on the umpire, what do you think my hitters are going to focus on? I have a responsibility
to set the temperature and maintain it when things are going good and when things are not going so well.
As a parent, it is a similar conversation. Do we focus on dissecting the game on the ride home, question the coach’s decisions, blaming the umpire? When we choose to focus on those things, what environment are we creating? How do our kids learn how to overcome adversity and get better?
I recently read a book written by Ohio State Football Coach, Urban Meyer – titled: Above the Line.
In summary, it is a great book about creating team culture. He describes Above the Line behavior as being Intentional, On purpose and Skillful. (Sounds like the Thermostat.) Below the Line behavior is described as Impulsive, On autopilot and Resistant. (Sounds like the Thermometer.)
One chapter in the book is titled the “R” factor. The chapter subtitle reads: “It’s not what happens that matters. It’s how you respond.” He has a formula for it: E + R = O.
Event + Response = Outcome.
Meyer says “it teaches us something very important about how life works. We don’t control the events in life, and we don’t directly control the outcomes. But we always have control over how we choose to respond. How we respond means everything.”
He says that the goal is to make their football player’s Response stronger that any Event they might encounter.
Simple examples of events that happen during a baseball/softball game:
Event = you are playing SS and the ball takes a bad hop and you make a fielding error – what is your Response?
Event = you are playing 3rd Base and the SS just made an error next to you – what is your Response to your teammate?
Event = you are at bat, the umpire calls the pitch “strike 2”, you thought it was low and outside, what is your Response?
Event = Mom & Dad, coach subs your son/daughter out of the game, what is your Response?
Those are just simple events that can happen during a game. In life, sometimes tough things happen to us, events that are out of our control and how we respond is really important.
Why focus on positive conduct and good sportsmanship? How you play the game will determine whether you win or lose - in life.
Thank you to the Walser Foundation, Federated Insurance, Pearson, Jostens, Cashwise Foods, Bennerotte & Associates, Jaguar Communications, The Retrofit Companies, the Minnesota Sports Federation, the MN Twins Community Fund, the Minnesota Timberwolves and MSU Mavericks for their support of the Youth 1st Team Awards program.
We put Youth 1st by connecting Conduct, Character and Community to youth activity programs.
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