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​Good Sportsmanship is the Only Option
(by Mark Domeier)
 
     I’ve had the privilege the past two years of working with Youth 1st, an organization based in Owatonna focused on providing a great atmosphere at youth activities. Mark Arjes brought me into this non-profit group to help give presentations to youth sports teams which exhibited great sportsmanship at tournaments.

     I had umpired in Owatonna for a number of years prior to this. When I first started, I encountered issues nearly every weekend with coaches and parents who couldn’t figure out that we were not participating in the World Championship of all baseball leagues. Normally, I didn’t have problems with the players. Every now and then, I’d find some kid who thought every pitch he threw was a strike or every time he didn’t swing the bat it must be a ball. But those were rare.
     When Youth 1st started insinuating some good sportsmanship ideals into these tournaments, many of those issues went away. Over the years, it’s gotten better and better since more and more people are buying in to the idea that sports should be fun. After each game, umpires take the time to decide if teams followed the ideas that are promoted before each contest. Teams should display good conduct, character, and community through their actions and words.
     The team includes players, coaches, and fans. That’s a key element; parents are just as much a part of the team community as the kids on the field. Those people who like to sit directly behind the umpire in order to judge whether each pitch was called correctly are not favorites among those of us who wear blue. You can try to ignore the sniping as long as possible, but we’re all human, and it gets under your skin after awhile.
     But I don’t see as much of that these days. I don’t know that I’m that much better of an umpire, so the Youth 1st plan is working.


     I get to spend time at different sports events as an official, a coach, and a parent. I stay pretty calm as a parent, since I know that’s where many bad situations start. I might mutter some thoughts under my breath or to my wife, but that’s generally it. As a coach, I try to keep my interactions with umpires positive. The only times I might visit with them otherwise is to get an explanation of a call or to suggest that a rule might have been misapplied. And from an umpiring standpoint, I always think that’s fine. You have a right to know why I called something a particular way or how I saw a close play. Just question it respectfully.
      When Mark asked me to join the presentation team, I jumped at the chance. I had seen so much progress in good sportsmanship, and if I was able to help with that, all the better. Plus, I got a chance to interact with young people all over southern Minnesota and get ideas from other coaches and teams.
     Our theme this summer dealt with what competition really means. Too many times, we look at the opposition as the enemy and demonize them. However, when a group realizes that competition only comes when we have somebody against whom to compete, the idea of good guys and bad guys should go away. Respect is crucial to creating good competition. When we shake hands at the end of a contest, it’s a sign of respect. Thank you for competing against us today.
     And understand that you need officials to create a competition as well. We have a shortage of officials in all sports across the nation. Why is that? Part of it has a lot to do with how they’re treated. I always tell young people getting into officiating or umpiring that they will have to develop a thick skin quickly. I too often see coaches go after younger officials since they think they can influence them more.
     But if you’re constantly being questioned in your job, it makes you want to find a different job. Work with officials and umpires rather than view them as an opponent. Competition goes well when players and coaches work with the officials for the contest rather than think those people are against them. As an umpire, I hope to have a conflict-free game every time. Will I miss calls? Of course, I’m only human. Do I do it deliberately? No, and I have never met an official who I thought did that.
     As we progress through the fall sports season and look ahead to other seasons, please think about this. By the time you read this, I’ll have announced two varsity football games in New Richland, and I have a feeling I’ll hear plenty of criticism of the officials. They clearly missed holding or there’s no way that was pass interference. When you sit up in the booth, you get to hear a lot from the people watching down in the stands!
     Please join in the movement to create great environments at youth activities. Recognize that officials aren’t out to wreck your team’s chances. Know that they are human. And if you can’t get to that point, please join up and officiate some games yourself!
 
Word of the Month: This month’s word is scaramouch, which means a boastful coward, as in, “The scaramouch spent a lot of time hollering from the stands, but when he had a chance to help officiate, he quickly grew quiet.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!
 
Mark Domeier teaches English at New Richland-Hartland-Ellendale-Geneva and is also known as the voice of the Panthers at sporting events.  He can be reached via email at mdomeier@nrheg.k12.mn.us or on Twitter @MrD1973.



​We put Youth First.
Reclaiming the role that youth sports plays in the development of our kids.
 

The Adults are First
The headline on the cover of the September 4, 2017 issue of Time Magazine reads: “CRAZY TRAVEL. CRAZY COSTS. CRAZY STRESS.  HOW KIDS SPORTS TURNED PRO”  The article begins with the subtitle, “How your kid’s rec league turned into a $15 billion industry.”

          We have created youth sports systems that are performance driven and hyper-competitive, causing parents to invest                              enormous amounts of time and money into travel and club programs, private instruction and early sport specialization.
​The professionalization of youth sports has taken what was designed to be child’s play and turned it into a grown up,
dog-eat-dog reality. 

Chap Clark, a leading youth expert, writes in his book Hurt 2.0; “Every adult has been reared on the notion that youth sports build character.  In light of what I have seen – the advancement of the best at the expense of the weak, the preference for the skilled even as the eyes of the awkward plead for a chance, the pressure of the parent who lives vicariously through his or her child’s “play” – little character is being built.  I have observed just the opposite in fact.  True character is built when one is rewarded for hard work, when one is willing to sacrifice for a friend or teammate, when one experiences the instilled value that proclaims the love of sport and not just the lust for competition.  This is perhaps the most obvious arena in which abandonment has made its mark on the adolescent psyche.  We still use the rhetoric that youth sports build character, yet what we have taught our children builds nothing other than arrogance, self-centeredness, and a performance ethic that is destructive to healthy, communally connected development.”

Help us put our Youth First.

What role should youth sports play?

According to leaders in youth development, youth sports should provide opportunities for exercise, making friends, gaining competence, building confidence, learning about teamwork, taking risks, developing character and self-discipline.

There is a growing body of research, led by the Aspen Institute, which is now supported and endorsed by all major governing bodies starting with the U.S. Olympic committee. (USA Hockey, USA Baseball, USA Wrestling, USA Basketball, USA Soccer, etc.) 

“It’s all about building healthy communities.
If we are going to ensure that all kids have the chance to grow up fit and strong, we must, among other efforts, eliminate the barriers to sports participation.   Childhood is the ideal time to prevent obesity, and none of the key strategies holds more promise in reducing obesity rates among children aged 6-12 than participation in after-school physical activity programs, according to a 2014 analysis published in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine. That’s especially true with black and Hispanic youth.  We must find new ways to help young people enjoy being active every day—no matter where they live or how much money their families make. It’s critical that all kids have the opportunity to find and play sports they love.”
​
 From the Aspen Institute Sports & Society Program – Project Play Report


​

​Thermostat or Thermometer?

Why focus on Conduct and Sportsmanship?   

Youth sports provide us with great learning experiences if we approach them with the proper perspective. 

Our perspective is that how you play the game (your attitude, your effort, and your conduct) is more important, than whether you win or lose on the score board.  Conduct and Sportsmanship are a choice.   These are things that we can control.  We can control them in practice, in a game, at home and at school.  We can control them as players, coaches and as Mom & Dad in the stands.  In fact, coaches and parents, we need to set the example for our kids.

When things are going our way, it is easy to go through the motions.  But when things don’t go our way, having the proper perspective and making the right choices requires us to be intentional.  Think of it this way; you can be like a thermometer and react to the environment around you OR you can be like a thermostat and choose to set your environment by managing your response.

For example, as a coach, I have learned that how I act when a call doesn’t go our way, directly affects how my players act.  If I get upset because of a called strike and get on the umpire, what do you think my hitters are going to focus on?  I have a responsibility
to set the temperature and maintain it when things are going good and when things are not going so well.

As a parent, it is a similar conversation.  Do we focus on dissecting the game on the ride home, question the coach’s decisions, blaming the umpire?  When we choose to focus on those things, what environment are we creating?  How do our kids learn how to overcome adversity and get better? 

I recently read a book written by Ohio State Football Coach, Urban Meyer – titled: Above the Line.
In summary, it is a great book about creating team culture.  He describes Above the Line behavior as being Intentional, On purpose and Skillful.  (Sounds like the Thermostat.)  Below the Line behavior is described as Impulsive, On autopilot and Resistant.  (Sounds like the Thermometer.)

One chapter in the book is titled the “R” factor.  The chapter subtitle reads: “It’s not what happens that matters.  It’s how you respond.”    He has a formula for it: E + R = O. 

Event + Response = Outcome. 

Meyer says “it teaches us something very important about how life works.  We don’t control the events in life, and we don’t directly control the outcomes.  But we always have control over how we choose to respond.  How we respond means everything.”
He says that the goal is to make their football player’s Response stronger that any Event they might encounter.
 
Simple examples of events that happen during a baseball/softball game:
Event = you are playing SS and the ball takes a bad hop and you make a fielding error – what is your Response?
Event = you are playing 3rd Base and the SS just made an error next to you – what is your Response to your teammate?
Event = you are at bat, the umpire calls the pitch “strike 2”, you thought it was low and outside, what is your Response?
Event = Mom & Dad, coach subs your son/daughter out of the game, what is your Response?
 
Those are just simple events that can happen during a game.  In life, sometimes tough things happen to us, events that are out of our control and how we respond is really important. 
 
Why focus on positive conduct and good sportsmanship? How you play the game will determine whether you win or lose - in life. 

​Thank you to the Walser Foundation, Federated Insurance, Pearson, Jostens, Cashwise Foods, Bennerotte & Associates, Jaguar Communications, The Retrofit Companies, the Minnesota Sports Federation, the MN Twins Community Fund, the Minnesota Timberwolves and MSU Mavericks for their support of the Youth 1st Team Awards program. 
 
We put Youth 1st by connecting Conduct, Character and Community to youth activity programs.

Our unhealthy obsession with childhood athletic achievement

1/20/2014

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By John O'Sullivan

From the Little League World Series to "American Idol," we have an unhealthy obsession with "discovering" the next generation of great youth talent in this country. This is especially true when it comes to sports.

I am not saying it is bad to identify talent. Our problem lies in how we define talent at the youngest ages, how and when we select it, and what we do with our newly discovered "talent." Unfortunately, our current system often de-emphasizes all the things that one day might allow true talent to shine, and successful young athletes to become elite adult competitors.

Our first problem lies in how we define talent. We sort our youth sports system chronologically, based on arbitrary calendar cutoffs. As a result, when we start selecting all stars at ages 7 and up, research has shown that most kids selected are born within three months of the calendar cutoff date. In other words, we are selecting kids who are older and more physically mature, who can run faster, jump higher and do all the athletic things a little bit better than the younger kids because of their relative age. The "talent" has very little to do with sport-specific skill, and far more to do with age and physical maturity.

As an example, an 8-year-old born in January, playing a sport that has a Jan. 1 cutoff date, is 12 percent older than a kid born in December of the same year, even though they are in the same age group. This is a massive difference. These kids may be chronologically the same age according to their sports league, but often they are developmentally light years apart.

Who gets picked? The research of Canadian psychologist Roger Barnsley on junior hockey players shows us that in this scenario the children born in January through March are five times more likely to be selected than those born in November or December. We are not identifying talent; we are identifying relative age.

The second issue is how and when we select talent. We have a downward creep in our country, meaning every time we decide to start having tryouts at one age, we begin to organize kids a year younger. If we have tryouts at U11, then we start collecting and culling the U10s. Pretty soon, we say, "Why not just start tryouts at U10?" and then start sorting the U9s.

We start making cuts at increasingly younger ages, and tell a slew of kids that they are not talented by cutting them from the select team. As mentioned above, the greatest predictor of whether a child will make the team or not at these young ages is his of her month of birth.

To make it even worse, often this cutting is not done by highly trained, independent evaluators, but by moms and dads who are coaching, and have a child in the player pool. You think they are going to cut their own kid? And even when we have qualified talent evaluators, again, we are excluding far too many potential players at a time when the biggest difference between two kids might be their relative age and a few months additional coaching.

Finally, let's be honest and admit that we are selecting athletes who are likely to help us win now, with little regard to who might be the better player years from now.

This leads us to the third issue, the over-emphasis of winning with our newly discovered elite athletes. After selecting our "talented" kids, we then funnel a select few into systems with better resources, better coaching and better competition, and exclude others. We travel farther and farther for games; we start measuring development by wins and losses. Once this is established, coaches inevitably play the kids who are going to help them win.

Let's take a soccer coach who has 14 families of 10-year-olds paying $1,000-plus per year for training as an example. If he wants to keep his job at most clubs, he'd better beat the local town team with the volunteer coach, or the neighboring club that only charges $400 in fees.

But what if the other team has a man-child forward who can run by everyone, a man-child defender or goalkeeper who can kick it over everyone's head, and a coach who screams at everyone to kick it long? The coach who is trying to teach his players to actually play soccer, to pass it around the back, to use skill instead of athleticism, likely will lose this game if he does not possess his own ultra-fast growing man-children.

If he has them, in order to get a result, he benches his smaller kids because "they cannot compete' with the big kids that day, and thus he keeps happy the parents of the 10 or so more athletically developed kids. Or, he plays everyone, loses and deals with the grumbling parents who cannot understand why they pay so much to lose.

Never mind the fact that if the coach is developing his players correctly, his team will win that same game 10 times out of 10 in a few years when athleticism is equal, and technique matters more. We ignore that. We have stopped thinking long-term.

This is problematic because at these youngest ages, sports is supposed to be about providing enjoyable activities for children, and prioritizing the development of future players over the performance of current ones. As noted speaker, author and former NBA player Bob Bigelow says, "All sixth-grade basketball players stink. The best player stinks, and the rest just stink worse, but they all stink."

What he means is that aggrandizing young players who cannot adequately shoot, pass, dribble or defend is incredibly short-sighted. Selecting all-star teams and cutting kids prior to puberty does not identify the players with the most future potential; it identifies the players that are often a little older, a little more physically mature and perhaps have a bit more skill then the ones you cut.

This can be psychologically damaging as well. Many young athletes often identify their worth in the eyes of their parents, coaches and peers in terms of sports achievement. "Johnny, the great soccer player," or "Mary, the best swimmer" learn to tie their identity to their athletic success. This is great until everyone else grows, the physical differences disappear and athletes realize that you actually need skill and desire to be successful.

Many young stars never learned to work hard, never faced adversity or a challenge for their spot on the team and never developed the proper techniques needed to succeed at the adult version of their game. They were the star; now they can no longer compete.

It's psychologically traumatic for a 12-year-old whose name was called on ESPN's "SportsCenter" to get cut from the high school varsity team and be replaced by the kid who got cut from his Little League team, but it happens. And once they stop succeeding in sports, their self-esteem and self-worth plummets.

If we want to develop athletes for the long run, we need to make some changes. We have to get away from our ESPN Little League World Series culture that is hurting more kids than it is helping. Here are a few thoughts on how to do this:

* We need to stop trying to identify future talent so young. We have to stop cutting kids at U9 to U12, and thus give larger numbers of athletes access to trained coaching, facilities and resources. We have to allow them to develop at their own pace. We need in-house, academy-style programs at youth sports clubs at least through U12, developing large numbers of players, emphasizing training over games, and focusing on local, small-sided competition instead of travel ball.

* We must stop focusing on winning, rankings, etc., for our teams prior to high school. We need parents who demand that coaches develop their kids, and coaches who demand that they be allowed to develop them appropriately. It is time for youth sports organizations to take a stand, to say "the customer is not always right" and do right by the kids and not the parents.

Very few are doing this right now, because there is always a competitor willing to focus on wins and attract families who do not know any better.

* After their growth spurt, from middle school through high school, we can start selecting out the truly talented, dedicated and elite athletes, as age becomes less of a factor. By doing this, we can get rid of our detrimental system that identifies players far too young, for the wrong things, one that funnels many kids out of the proper development system, and funnels the better ones into high-pressure, win-at-all-costs clubs that injures or burns out most of them by high school.

Our current system is killing our young athletes' enthusiasm and love of sports. Our identification and celebration of success at a young age, with its accompanying creature comforts and media exposure, has created a legion of doting fans of pre-pubescent athletes, before those kids actually have accomplished anything at all in sports. These young "stars" burn brightly, and then often burn out before high school.

And what of the players who might truly have talent but grew later than their peers, the ones who could take their place and become elite high school, college and perhaps even professional players? Well, we cut them years ago, because they weren't good enough to help us win the statewide U10 "Ultra Awesome Super Duper Cup Championship" that we trained all year for.

We can do better!

- John O'Sullivan is the founder of the Changing the Game Project and blogs at www.changingthegameproject.com

Copyright 2014 The Davis Enterprise
Distributed by Newsbank, Inc. All Rights Reserved 
The Davis Enterprise (California)


January 19, 2014 Sunday

SECTION: FORUM

HEADLINE: Our unhealthy obsession with childhood athletic achievement

BYLINE: Special to The Enterprise

Learn more

Who: Author John O'Sullivan, delivering a Davis Parent University lecture on raising high-achieving athletes in a positive atmosphere

When: 7-9 p.m. Friday, March 21

Where: Brunelle Performance Hall at Davis High School, 315 W. 14th St.
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